Negotiations

Understanding and developing negotiation skills is something that I never really gave much thought to in the past.  However, since the beginning of a class on negotiations, I have come to realize how important it is; both in our business and our personal lives.  I have listened to and watched several podcasts/videos on negotiations in order to write this blog.  The more speakers that I listened to, the more my interest in this subject has grown and the more that I have learned.  The three topics of negotiation that I would like to briefly discuss in the blog are using objective criteria, handling dirty tricks, and mutual benefits.

Using objective criteria in negotiation is the first topic that I would like to discuss.  In a TED Talk video that I watched, William Ury discusses negotiations and how it can lead to mutual benefits.  Ury states that everyone knows that there are two sides to any conflict; however, what he believes not everyone knows, is that there is also always a third side.  This third side is the surrounding community.  The job of the third side is to remind the parties of what is at stake.  To take the parties "to the balcony" to get an overview of the situation.  This third side can bring attention to the origin of the conflict and shed light on the objective criteria.

When the third side is found and the parties are at the balcony, they are able to separate themselves from the situation a little and get a clear perspective.  When this does not work, Ury suggests going for a walk (literally).  When two parties are walking, it is impossible for them to be in each other's faces.  Rather, the parties are walking side by side, in a physical symbolism of reaching the same destination.  Ury suggests changing any hostility to hospitality. This helps to eliminate some of the negative emotions that are playing a part of the negotiation and will help to focus on the business and critical matters.  This being said, there is always a third side to confrontation which is the objective criteria.  It is up to the parties whether they choose to include the third side into the negotiation or not.

Another topic of negotiation I would like to discuss is how to handle dirty tricks.   In an interview with Dr. Josh Weiss, Elizabeth Doty discusses "The Compromise Trap".  One of the dirty tricks that people like to use in negotiations is to lead the opponent to compromise.  Doty explains that compromise often leads people to underestimate their own interests and warns negotiators to avoid it.  She states that the path to compromise is often gradual and that many people do not see that they are walking down it.  Doty encourages negotiators to remain alert and to watch for the warning signs about negotiations that make them feel uncomfortable.  

In order to avoid falling into the compromise trap, Elizabeth Doty provides a few tips.  She suggests that negotiators should put themselves in a place of control where they can make clear decisions and speak freely.  She states that remaining in control is important and that one should avoid reacting to the opponent's actions or words.  Doty also suggests using a 'positive no'.  Always be ready to say no in a positive and constructive way that provides other options.  Other tips Doty offers are to practice candid conversation, step up to responsibility to the overall good, and to always be ready to exit if the negotiation will not lead to what you need or want.  These tips offered by Elizabeth Doty can be used to handle many dirty tricks used in negotiations, not just to avoid compromise.

The third, and last, topic of negotiation that I would like to discuss is mutual benefits.  In the "Art of Negotiations" class that Stan Christensen taught, he states that negotiation is basically effective relationship management.  He explains that many negotiators make the mistake of treating negotiations as if they are a one time deal.  He believes that building relationships in negotiations is the best way.   Rather than thinking about winning in a negotiation, Christensen suggests thinking about getting the best deal out of the negotiation.  He suggests negotiators, "think of how to creatively 'expand the pie' rather than trying to divide it".  When negotiators choose creative problem solving as a tool to get things done and find common ground rather than focusing on their differences, trust and good report are established which helps lead to mutual benefits. 

The topics that I have just discussed are just a brief glimpse of what is available to learn about negotiations.  I think that it is important for everyone to work towards developing good negotiation skills to better improve the overall good of businesses and relationships.  I highly recommend that readers go and do their own research about negotiations and find some ways to improve their negotiation skills to better themselves and make themselves more powerful, no matter what area they work in.